I am sorry. —Odin

Send my muse a message from their father.

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Three words. All he had ever searched for. All Odin had never
been willing to impart. Miserly even in his last hours, even with
Frigga’s gentling spirit calling to him.  

And here they are, those three words.  

Loki thinks on the man whose good opinion he once fixated 
upon with such agonies that it festered into a desire for his
own ill-gotten kingdom on earth.  He thinks on the moment
he heard no, and fell, and fell, and f e l l … . shattering his
psyche and his body and his spirit so profoundly that even
now he has been reassembled differently. 

He thinks on the man who held his hand when he was small,
and taught him the runes and the histories of the ancients.
This man for whom he killed his birthfather, proclaiming 
himself “Son of Odin.” This man for whom he madly,
misguidedly, strove to erase his own bloodline, his
own race, in shame, shame, shame.  

And did that man rescue him from a frozen rock, or only
collar him, and hold his head underwater, while demanding, 
swim”?

And does it matter
now? 

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        “ … so am I.”  

Does he even mean it? 
Does he even know?
But maybe a part of him still wants this man
who will alway stand at a distance
whom he will never understand 
to find peace.  

“You have to know, I did what I thought was best. You can’t blame me for that.” (Notes from the father, Odin)

Send my muse a message from their father.

Loki is at first so paralyzed by his rage that he cannot muster a 
syllable. 

It isn’t Odin’s presumption to apologize that kindles that rage.
It’s his claim that he holds no accountability whatsoever in 
the debacle that is their family.  

        “Oh, ‘Allfather,’ I can blame you.”  

A brief, mirthless snap of laughter escapes him, a forced cackle
so unlike his true, breathy snicker.  It is hard and raw and bitter,
like everything that he feels for the man that somehow, he mustered
the mercy to deposit addled in a retirement home on Midgard.  

Not that Thor noticed the  restraint that Loki still showed
Odin, the remaining scraps of compassion that he could summon
for the man who had been an ever-present fixture of his childhood
(if only to be distant, and demanding, and never-satisfied, while
Frigga salvaged what could be saved of Loki’s mauled self-esteem).
No, the moment Odin ascended to Valhalla, Thor summoned an
involuntary storm and called the whole affair Loki’s fault.  

Old habits, old habits.  

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       “I can blame you for paying me heed only to throw me into 
        inferior relief against my dearest friend and brother, ROBBING
       US BOTH
of the camaraderie we might have better shared!  
        I can blame you for stealing me from my birth home only to
        prop me up as a convenient backup option should your 
        CONSTANT! GREEDY! Mining of other Realms’ resources and
        infrastructures come to naught, so you could trade me off 
        with some other artifact to APPEASE the INSURGENT MASSES.
        You were a POOR king, and a POORER father, and Thor and I
        BOTH suffered for it, even if he is too blinded by his romanticized
         memories
of you to ever see that.   

         No, I cannot blame you for what I did, 
         
                 but I CAN blame you

                             for what YOU did!”  

So good, so kind, so benevolent, the father of all things,
so benign as he exploits the people under his feet, with
blood on his hands. 

May his guilty memories eat him alive.  
May he choke on his feast in Valhalla. 

Loosing Thor, fire or heat, and Thanos. (( Not sure if any or all are true for your Loki))

Give my muse three fears you think they have, and they will order them from what scares them the least to what scares them the most.

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Losing Thor.
Losing Thor.
Losing T h o r .

The very first hellish option petrifies Loki to such an extent that
a sheen of clamminess covers his pale skin, and, as his eyes
darken, pupils thickening, his mind becomes stuck.  

Ever-present, overbearing but warm, presumptuous but affectionate,
entitled but loyal.  The boisterousness of a storm rolling across 
endless plains, bringing both the destructive wrath of lightning,
and the enrichment of rain.  

Maybe Thor is just as dualistic as Loki.  

To be bereft of the being who defines him by opposition?  Even
if it meant Loki were at last free of the self-centered demands
and judgments Thor imparts, it would also mean that the 
Trickster God had cleft his own soul.  It would be 
a melody without its harmony, that profound.  It would also
be a brother without his brother, the bufferer of his
ego, the cleaner of his shit, that simple.  

Loki swallows hard.  He is eventually conscious, again, of
the presence of the Elder God. 

       “What … were the other two choices?”  

Three fears. Losing Frigga. Losing your magic. Thanos.

Give my muse three fears you think they have, and they will order them from what scares them the least to what scares them the most.

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        “ … my mother is already dead.  A greater fear within me?
        To justify the disappointment she felt, the hurt and the
        shame, when I claimed to disown her.  Which leads me directly 
        to the other two options.  Perhaps unsurprisingly,
        the Allmother would not shame me for failing to practice future
        magic, despite her unparalleled skill at the craft.  Rather, it is what
        I do under duress, to appease  … him … that I fear would appall
        her most.  So I devise a means by which to dodge his wrath, while
        sparing my brother, and my people. If I am able, I shall turn the 
        order of all things topsy-turvy, and carve for us a new path.
        I am still a King of Asgard, even if I am also a pariah.”   

lokiloveforever:

portraitoftheoddity:

The other thing I’m noticing from this photoset is that Loki says it’s a wormhole in space and time:

…in time?

How long was Loki in that wormhole for?

How long did Thanos have him for?

We assume that a year passed roughly between Thor 1 and Avengers 1, but what if it was longer for Loki? What if he experienced time differently?

I never thought about it like this before. What if Thanos had Loki for years? And being tortured for what seemed like an eternity? He was in hell!

It is actually my standing headcanon that he was there way way longer than a few months or a year.  Way, way longer. Since 2012 that’s been my headcanon. Because, you know, wormholes are temporal anomalies too.  You don’t have to look further than Madeleine L’Engle’s A Wrinkle in Time to confirm that real, extant scientific theory. 

I actually thought, and I am not trying to be a smartass here, I just genuinely thought everybody already assumed this about Loki’s time with Thanos???? 

I was thinking about why the electrocution scene didn’t bother me as much as it maybe should have, beyond it being uncomfortable (and a bit of ??? at Thor). Then it struck me that when we see Thor being shocked for a few seconds, he almost blacks out and is too weak to move for a while. Whereas Loki, who was shocked for much, much longer, recovers straight away after he’s freed, as if the ordeal barely affected him? Shouldn’t he be incapacitated for ages? Where’s the logic???

//This may make you sadder so I am sorry in advance ;_; but it would be logical to say that because of his time with Thanos, Loki’s threshold of pain is far higher than Thor’s, so he suffered as  much or more but had trained himself to endure it. 

As someone with incapacitating chronic illness which involves severe pain and nausea, I can say for a fact that enduring constant levels of both as a precedent makes it…not easier to endure it again, per se, but you’ve developed mental and emotional coping mechanisms for a bad encounter, and you’re more just…PREPARED… than someone who’s experiencing it for relatively the first time.

This isn’t to say that Thor, as, you know, a master warrior, hasn’t endured a great deal of physical pain in battle, but there’s something about the serial nature of torture, and its uneven power dynamic, that I think would require more mental, physical, and emotional conditioning. Hence Loki tolerating the pain better.

Or it could be just a loophole LOL. We don’t know for sure. 

van-dyne:

Valkyrie: *breathes*
Thor:
😍💯💖🙌🏻💯💕🙌🏻🙇🏼💯💓😍💘💗🙇🏼💗💗💯😍😍🙌🏻👍🏻💖💖

Can I just say that things like this are why I think Thor is totally chill with Loki being genderfluid? He is super progressive. 

So I’m not sure if you’ve answered this question before and if you have sorry, but in your personal opinion what type of father do you think Loki would be? Do you think he is capable of loving and being there for his children. I know in Norse mythology and I think in the Marvel comics he has a couple of kids, but I don’t know much about either so I was hoping you could offer some input.

//I have but it is fine! This is one of my favorite headcanons to discuss actually! 

There’s no evidence strictly in the MCU for or against this, but my interpretation of the character incorporates heavily the elements of Norse mythology, as well as the fact that Loki almost unilaterally emulates Frigga.  So I look to Frigga’s parenting style to answer this question.  Frigga is nurturing and permissive, but capable also of quietly yet firmly protesting her children’s misbehavior.  

Since Loki, like Frigga, solves problems with shrewdness and deceit, capitalizes on fighting techniques that are agile and do not require upper body strength, and most importantly values the feminine coded art of Seidhr (magic mastery), I believe he’d use Frigga’s parenting style with his own children, not Odin’s, and certainly not Laufey’s.  He would be patient and maternal–yes, maternal, not paternal–and perhaps a little too hellbent on his children’s freedom to act on individual merits and interests.  He might border on too indulgent, and later have to curb his children’s adulthood propensity to spread mischief of their own.

I write with a number of muns who portray Loki’s mythologically based children as well as children he’s adopted or had with mothers other than Angrboda or Sigyn, so another way to answer this would be to have you peruse my tag for #Lokakindar, or the following muns:
@sigyns-haven
@constancychaos
@helas-domain
@serpentxson
@fenrir-of-asgard
@theglisterwitch
@materxnatura

I might add that Loki also is extremely fond of all incarnations of Torunn/Thrud, Thor’s canonical daughter by Sif.  Thor’s sons Magni and Modi he is more standoffish with.  

Watching Ragnarok, I felt like Hela was what Loki would’ve become if he went fully evil. Idk if the filmmakers did this on purpose or not, but Hela’s appearance, her thirst for power, her final confrontation with Thor, etc.–it all reminded me of Loki at his worst. Like if these movies had gone a different way, Loki could’ve been Thor’s biggest antagonist and ended up being killed by him in the throne room. Kind of weird to think about. I’m really glad that’s not what happened!

//I mean you can make the argument that Hela inherited AND learned Odin’s ruthless, power-lusting, Machiavellian qualities, and Loki ONLY learned them, with different genes on his side, and Frigga as a mother to curb his darkest impulses (if in fact Frigga was not Hela’s mother, since the movie fails utterly to give us serious time developing Hela’s background).  And in that line of reasoning you can say maybe Loki was gonna end up just like Hela if things for him had been even worse. And yeah the two are obviously similar in certain ways: they’re both moody, jealous, sneaky, vicious, ambitious, pale, skinny and dark-haired, lol.  

But I’m gonna say, not exactly the same potential, from my POV, for a couple of reasons.

–Hela was a unilaterally privileged character, neither LGBT (that we know of) nor a person of color from a conquered imperialist territory of the nation in which she was raised.  Loki on the other hand is both of these things, and while they don’t EXCUSE his inferiority complex and his vast anxiety to prove himself “worthy,” they make it a hell of a lot more sympathetic, and understandable, than Hela’s “I just like killin people and the rush of power it gives me lulzies then dad locked me up because he freaked out at my power and couldn’t stop me” outlook. Which frankly, MIGHT NOT BE ALL HELA IS ABOUT, but again, the movie fails to demonstrate, so we just don’t KNOW. 

–When given the comparable power that Hela has, in the Tesseract + the Mind Gem, in Avengers Assemble, Loki strikes me as a more frantic character. Frantic is the word, and maybe that’s as much Tom Hiddleston’s really good acting as anything, but Cate Blanchett is also a brilliant actor, so I boil it down to writing, too.  But Loki always seems like he’s working under duress, and not just because he’s rightly terrified of Thanos, who tortured and coerced him, but also because the whole violent mad dictator thing doesn’t suit Loki as well as it does Hela.  Hela shows unilateral delight in carnage; “I’ve missed this,” she effuses at one point, whereas Loki, given the opportunity by Thor to defect to the Avengers, tearfully whispers, “It’s too late to stop it.” Worlds of diference, given very analogous opportunities at despot-level acts, and a similar body count. 

–Notice when Loki is given the chance to rule without the influence of Infinity Stones or violent coercion by a higher-up, he is actually a non-interventionist and a pacifist. By nature. Not so with Hela.   

–On that line of thought, Hela also kills HER OWN PEOPLE, from Valkyries to peasant citizens of Asgard, and INDISCRIMINATELY, whereas Loki would never dream to do so, in fact is very fond of his homeland (despite frequent incidents of bullying and ostracizing) and when he attacks and kills people on Earth, it’s to invade and patronize a foreign land.  Which does not make him kind, but does make him less indiscriminately ruthless than his older sister.  

–Hela further shows no normative emotional attachments, though again, she may have had them, but Loki is proven to have been very fond of Odin, Frigga, and Thor, both protective of and affectionate towards them, many times in his narrative.  

–Loki is also capable of self-sacrifice and of altruism, by nature, and Hela…I don’t think so.  

So I dunno. We’ve already seen Loki at rock bottom in Avengers and he still wasn’t as shitty and evil as Hela, But who knows, I would need more data on MCU Hela to be sure.  Also introducing a WORSE villain to make a current villain look less evil is a huge literary trope and they are totally doing that for Loki’s benefit both in TDW and Ragnarok.  So yeah.