//I’m a little concerned about the trajectory of multiple character interactions with this muse.
What I’ve noticed is that, because of my personality as a mun and person who prefers to please others rather than see to her own needs (it’s a problem I’m constantly working on, with self-talk and professional therapy), I tend to hold back on Loki’s negative traits. I mean, not always. Most people give me feedback that I write him as utterly terrifying and vicious. But that’s kind of his general comportment with strangers. My concern has to do with his significant others, friends, and family.
Nobody wants Loki to be happy and at peace more than me. It’s my single most important goal for this muse. At the same time, I have been making him agreeable to and accommodating of the hang-ups of others, and frankly to an extent that borders on OOC-ness. I’ve done this for the purpose of either advancing, or maintaining, significant emotional ties with other muses, in fear that those muses will not remain close to Loki if I unleash the full measure of some of his more troubled, traumatized personal traits. Not even the toxic ones, just the evidence of DAMAGE. I’ve come to observe that whenever I let him behave exactly as I think is accurate, it causes other muns anxiety, and makes them offer ooc posts that explain or justify the damage in their own muses. And I’m not talking about one specific person here, but a number of you whom I count to be regular rp partners, just from observing ooc posts on my dash the past several days. There were a number of those posts this morning, directly after responses to threads that I posted to you IC. And that worries me. It seems to be part of a pattern.
I don’t want you guys to feel that you are in this position. Just because Loki is disturbed does not mean your muse does not also have that right. I don’t want this to begin to feel like a competition on “who is the most fucked up.” My goal is that Loki be portrayed honestly and accurately, both the good and bad. I need to stop being afraid of people’s disapproval or disappointment if Loki is not always the hero who comes through and is the mature and understanding and nurturing part of a partnership, be it platonic or romantic. I need to just write him the way that feels correct. Please understand there is nothing personal behind this. It’s just starting to feel like my characterization is getting euphemized and cramped.
Until the point that I can feel comfortable again with a number of specific threads, I might be a bit more selective. It’s possible that real life stress is making it hard for my muse and me to be resilient to threads that are stressful in nature. I’m sorry about that. Unfortunately there’s a human behind this character and blog who has a number of human problems and sometimes these problems color my portrayal.
I hope this is okay with everyone. I’m just….really concerned.
“dont shame people for shipping things” is one of the worst discourses ive seen on this website because ninety percent of the time its used to defend pedophilic, incestuous and abusive ships
even if i fucking hate you i won’t send you anon hate because my parents didn’t raise me in the jungle
//I think there’ve been times when I’ve been bending this muse to neglect his own psychological damage in order to keep a thread or muse relationship agreeable. I think he has the right to more from me than that. So I need to stop compromising in this manner. I’m sorry. You might all find Loki a bit more abrasive for a while if and when certain insecurities are stirred.
“why can’t people enjoy something without bringing feminism/social justice into it all the time”
(i.e. why can’t I be sexist/racist/ableist/queerphobic when it’s so fun for me, and on the side let me dehumanize feminists/activists by painting them as as joyless, cold nonbeings)
real question: why can’t people enjoy something by bringing feminism/social justice into it all the time
every time i point out that sexualising things explicitly linked to little girls/children is fucked up i get messages like “be careful not to kink shame!! uwu!!” go fuck yourselves you deserve to be shamed
//From my understanding Tumblr has done something to make New XKit’s code for reblogs stop working (as in, all posts before your reblog of a text post disappear). For this reason I’ll not be doing any drafts until the bug is fixed.
My askbox is still open; PLEASE fill it. I really wanted to do some Loki rp tonight.
//Wow, anon. It’s time for some edification. So if you even care to read further, buckle up. I will strive to be polite and direct henceforth, in ways that you clearly were not. I’ve chosen to reply to this anon in order to make it clear to ALL of my 2,218 followers that I will be continuing to portray Loki as genderfluid, without compunction, and why.
A) First of all, anon, your remark stems from one of two things which areinsufficient to convince me to change the way that I portray MY muse on MY blog:
Transphobia, misogyny and transmisogyny, however inadvertent–and I certainly hope that it was inadvertent (in which case, please, please unfollow me if you are following me already. I find your presence offensive and uncomfortable, on behalf of the good trans men and women who are some of my closest personal friends).
A distaste for the Matt X Loki fan pairing ( in which case, also feel free to unfollow me, and expend as much of your free time as you see fit deriding the pairing’s “illogical” qualities on YOUR OWN blog. No one is forcing you to consume the creative products that my rp partners and I create. You are free to go. It will relieve, rather than offend, me.)
B) Secondly.I actually very much appreciate your loyalty to Tom Hiddleston as the quintessential portrayal of Loki in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. I could not agree more. Tom is my favorite actor, both as a creative individual and as a humanitarian, and among my favorite of celebrities of all time. As I have REPEATEDLY stated on this blog, Tom is responsible for redefining the parameters by which we both analyze and portray Loki as a character in the Marvel popular cultural narrative. But just because Tom is indeed so wonderful at portraying Loki, does not justify stating that no woman can ever efficiently play Loki in his CANONICALLY EXISTING female form. My personal choice is Katie McGrath, a superb British actress. Numerous other actresses have been used by numerous other Loki muns. One popular alternative is Rooney Mara. Please do not, in your loyalty to Tom, do what Tom would never approve of: belittling female actors.
C) Why do I portray Loki as genderfluid? Easy. In the Agent of Asgard comics, as well as in the various Norse pagan religions, Loki is CANONICALLY genderfluid. He/she is a shapeshifter who represents all that is contingent, shifting, in transition, in change, liminal, ambiguous, ambivalent, and chaotic. Loki in Norse mythology is an androgyne; he has also borne one child in some versions of the mythos (Sleipnir), four in others (he swallowed Angrboda’s heart and carried Jormungandr, Fenrir, and Hel to term in his own womb). Loki in the comics, particularly in recent issues in which he/she has taken on the moniker “God of Stories,” is genderfluid, and shown in male and female form at sudden intervals and juxtapositions within single scenes. I CHOOSE TO USE THESE SOURCES AS INFLUENCE TO MY MUSE. Because you understand, I hope, that an rp muse is not the same as a canon character: it’s an individual’s INTERPRETATION of a canon character, with varying degrees of adherence to strictest canon. I choose to wed other universes to the Marvel Cinematic Universe, which means that I have no need to limit my portrayal of Loki to “male” and “Tom Hiddleston.”
Furthermore, your assertion is logically fallacious for the simple fact that I am a FAN and NOT producing one of the movies ANYWAY, so however I envision Loki is irrelevant to what “should” be done in the official MCU. Don’t you realize that the best part of fandom is to germinate new ideas and angles from which to view a character which might not otherwise ever be considered or experienced? Why would you police that????? I genuinely don’t understand.
I’m going to just drop opalescentlesbian a tag on this post, because frankly she is a far more eloquent speaker on behalf of the LGBQTIA spectrum and its need for representation in the media and in the creative endeavors of fans like me, than I am. And because she will be even less amused by your attempt to delegitimize my creative efforts than I am. And you really need to listen to her, if you’re not listening to me. Or you could listen to my trans friend natetheautistic who happens to play one of my main Thors on this blog. I’m sure they’ll also have plenty to say on the subject of transphobia in the Marvel fandom.
tl;dr I am not trying to be nasty here, but your Ask really does shock and dishearten me. Please reexamine your motives. Forget about me, or my writing, or my feelings. What’s important is that I believe that whoever you are, you are capable of recognizing that your assertion is offensive on many levels, to real human beings. People who identify as trans or genderfluid matter, and there is nothing wrong with a fan portraying them in a character who is beloved by today’s pop culture.
//FYI: I am going to be busy this weekend grading nearly 100 papers for my students’ first assignment of the semester. I also have an intestinal infection which is making me dehydrated, nauseous, and tired. I just want everyone involved in an Ask or thread with me to know that I have not forgotten you, but this is one of those moments when my August-December semi-hiatus has to be enforced. I will do my best to get to stuff as able ❤
icyxmischief 